2010 - A Year Coming To a Close

As 2010 comes to a close I look back over the last year and although there have been many tough days there also were many days filled with joy and happiness. A lot of water has crossed the bridge so to speak but I'm happy to say that I've not drowned (giggle).

When I look back in hindsight it is so easy to see all the things I've went through and it seems so right to say to myself "How did I get through that?" but I did get through it. That fact gives me the will to look forward to the new year and to know that no matter what I'm forced to face I can get thorough it and at the end of 2011 I'll be stronger and a better person because of it.

I'll learn something from each experience, I'll gain something from all the adventures and most of all I'm sure to meet many new people and enjoy many wonderful times with all my friends and family. Just like this year, at the end of next year (2011) I'm sure that all the good that I've been blessed to enjoy will by far outweigh the bad.

So I'm looking forward to the coming year. I hope every person has a wonderful new year.

Seeing Over The Horizon

It feels wonderful when the rough times begin to fade and the new wonderful days arrive. You begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that soon tomorrow will be here and it will be far better than today. There are times when you are going through the darkest days that you aren't able to see down the road to when things will improve. It is those dark days that drag you down. When the day arrives that you finally see the light breaking through the dark clouds, it is then that your spirit begins to feel alive again.

Sometimes the situation improves and allows the light to come in but often times it is my attitude about the situation that truly gives way to the darkness and brings in the shining light which guides me to a more positive approach to the initial situation. It is at that moment that I realize that I've been in the wrong frame of mind, in a place that wouldn't allow the light in. I chose to stay there far too long. Thankfully I found my way out.

How do you find your way out from the darkness and how do you begin to move toward the light?

I think each person has to find their own solution to this problem. For me, it is easier at times then it is at other times. For me, I often have to come to the decision to accept whatever the situation is and know that I'll get through it. I have to put aside worries and that allows me to relax and accept the situation and not be so stressed over it. I have also found that I tend to get frustrated during tough times and this wears me down more than anything else. Frustration really tugs at my thoughts and makes me feel as though my life is totally out of my control. This just compounds the stress of the situation and in the end increases the overall problem.

So I work to find some humor in each and every day. This will at least keep my head above water during a difficult time. Then little by little I begin to face the situation head on and deal with the things that are most troublesome to me. From there I begin to adjust my thinking and re-adapt my emotions. Little by little I'm able to begin to put many issues aside and focus more on the future. This isn't something you can do overnight but it is something that can be accomplished.

Phil Lucas: The passing of my brother at 49. Happy 62nd Birthday

A powerful quote that was sent to me today. A friend sent it to me because she knows I like to read comforting quotes. Instantly what came to mind when I read it was the passing of my brother. Perhaps this is something I must put in writing, something I must address, so here goes.

"Sometimes, when one person is absent, the whole world seems depopulated"
---Allphonse de Lamartine

This is how the world seemed to me when my brother passed away in May 1998 at the age of 49. It felt like the air was removed from this planet and that the world was depopulated. One of the most important people in my life was suddenly gone. How do you get past that? I surely did not know on that spring day.

Even now my heart seems to skip a beat and instantly tears well up in my eyes as I think of the moment I heard the terrible news over the phone. There was a part of my soul that was sucked out at that moment. It seemed to take my breath away.

My brothers are years older than I am and they were in many ways more of parental figures than brothers. He was one that I knew would be there for me no matter what. He had his strong personality which sometimes got on my nerves and we did butt heads at times. He was overly protective and head strong when it came to his beliefs and ideals. But the bottom line is that he had the biggest heart and was one of the most generous people I've ever known and without any doubt in my mind I knew he loved me and I knew he'd always be there by my side no matter what.

His death was particularly hard for me because I didn't feel that it was his time to go. I guess we never think it is the time for our loved one to leave us but I just couldn't imagine that he was only supposed to be on this earth for 49 short years. I couldn't fathom that he wasn't supposed to see his daughters graduate from high school or that he wasn't supposed to walk them down the isle on their wedding day or live to see his grandchildren. I still can't believe that it was his time, but as a Christian I know that there are reasons for everything so I have to trust in that faith.

There is a hole in our family, a missing link, a part of us that we cannot replace. We miss him so. I've finally reached a place where I can reflect on the good times in which we shared. He was a very serious man but he had a sense of humor like no one I've ever met before or since. He had a serious sense of humor if you will. That is hard to describe but he could pull off a joke so well because you couldn't tell if he was serious or joking until he had you under the spell of the joke and then released the punch line on you or revealed the trickery. We had such fun together and those are memories I'll always cherish. His special smirky smile that I've never seen on another human being shines in my memory and I hold it close to my heart. When I need to feel he is near, I focus on that smile and gently hear in my soul that soft but strong unique laughter of his. With this, although he is far, he seems close in spirit.

Follow Your Destiny

There comes a time in your life when you realize that if you stand still, you will remain at this point forever. You realize that if you fall down and stay down, life will pass you by. Life's circumstances are not always what you might like. The pattern of life does not necessarily go as you plan or want.

Beyond any understanding, you may at times be led in different directions than you ever imagined, dreamed or desired. Yet if you had never put any effort into choosing a path or trying to carry out your dream, then perhaps you would have no direction at all.

Rather than wondering about or questioning the direction your life has taken, accept the fact that there is a path before you now. Shake off the "what if's", and rid yourself of confusion. Whatever is - is what's important. Your past is a brief reflection. Your future is yet to be realized. Today is here for you.

Walk your path one step at a time - with courage, faith, and determination. Keep your head up and cast your dreams to the stars. Soon your steps will become firm and your footing will be solid again. A path that you never imagined will become the most comfortable direction you could have ever hoped to follow.

Keep your belief in yourself and walk into your new journey. You will find it magnificent, spectacular, and beyond your wildest dreams. Take Destiny's hand and let it guide you. You will never be sorry.

Coping with Grief and Bereavement

The Holidays

The holidays may not seem so merry if someone you care about or love has died and you are in the midst of grieving the loss of that person and the loss of the life you had together. Grieving at this time of year can make us feel so alone especially when everyone else around us appears to be going about their lives with a “merry” outlook on life.  It may even feel like others have family or close relationships around them, family reunions to attend, moments of celebration to experience while we experience the feeling of being completely alone and an overwhelming sadness. Grief can make us feel as though everything around us such as the sun shining or the snow falling should come to an abrupt halt just as our lives did when the person we love died.  We may wonder how everything else around us can appear so untouched by what has happened to our lives, to our hearts.  And sometimes we wonder how we will go on with our lives without that person.  Death changes us – changes our lives – and we are never the same again.  What we feel at this time is the healing pain of grief.  Death forces to the edge of our understanding of life – causes us to face the loss of all we have ever known about our lives with that person or persons in it.  It forces us to realize that nothing is for certain and all we really have is this moment to live.

Memories

We all have a mental scrapbook we add to during our lifetime.  That scrapbook is a place of reminisce – a place we return to in our minds when we want to relive the memories we’ve made with the person(s) we love.  It consoles us and brings us pain as we reminisce about the things we had and the things we will not have again.  Those memories help us realize that the person we love who died is still a part of us and we can return to those memories throughout our lifetime.  The pain we feel is in honor of our love for the person who died so when you feel like crying please remember you are giving yet another gift of yourself.  Please allow yourself to feel whatever you feel and know that you will have a kaleidoscope of feelings as you experience the different stages of grief.  You may feel angry, resentful, extremely sad and alone, relieved in some ways, etc. and the only way through this is to allow yourself to feel and find ways to get those feelings outside of your body. That might be through confiding in a trusted friend, writing in a journal, dedicating something in your life to the person you love who died, going to a special place, etc.

You need to do what is right for you when it comes to grieving and getting through the holiday season.  When making plans, please ask yourself if the commitments you are making are being made because others want you to and you feel obligated or are you making decisions based on how you feel and what you need right now?  Sometimes this may seem like a tightrope act – balancing the needs of others with your own needs.  Give yourself permission to say no to some things and strive for a balance between doing things for and with others and doing things for yourself.  Perhaps this is not like you.  Perhaps in the past you went along with everything despite how you felt.  You may find that death also helps you realize everything you are made of and the things that you need the most.  What makes you feel good about yourself?  What makes you feel true to yourself?  Give yourself permission to do things for yourself without guilt.  Feeling good in the midst of feeling bad is sometimes accompanied by misplaced guilt or the feeling of having betrayed the person who died.  Please know that this is what many people feel when they are grieving.  Many people ask themselves the what if questions, what if I had done this, or not done that or been there or not been there, or said this or not said that.  There was likely nothing you could do to prevent what happened.  It is important to not judge yourself and allow yourself to have the myriad of emotions that grief causes you to experience in order to let those things go.  If you also allow yourself to have good feelings too, you will experience more moments of respite from the pain of grief.  Avoiding the pain of grief only makes it surface later and usually in much more destructive ways.

You may end up being surprised by things you think of or experience that not only help you in the present moment but also lend themselves to becoming new holiday traditions.  Those new traditions can help carry you through the years to come.  Decide what is most meaningful and honor yourself in the process of honoring the person who died.

Please remember that allowing someone to do something nice for you or reaching out to someone can give you a moment’s respite from the all-encompassing pain you may feel.  It’s those little moments that help build a bridge for us to walk across in order to get through the holiday season and beyond.

As mentioned before, you may find it helpful to keep a journal like a trusted friend you can confide in.  It can also be a good way to preserve some of the memories you treasure.  You may also find that it helps you realize all of the things you have or have experienced in your life rather than what you have lost.

Benefits of Holiday Rituals While Grieving

You may want to continue a holiday tradition that you and your loved one did together in the past or you may want to create a new tradition in honor of that person.  Here are some of the benefits of doing so.

1: Provides you with a way to reminisce about the person who died and be able to express your feelings and thoughts about that person.

2: Provides a way for you to express yourself without feeling judged.

3: Can help you deal with the need to be “in control of your feelings” at times when you don’t want to just let go completely.  A ritual helps “contain” grief because it has a beginning and an ending.  Sometimes just knowing this gives you the permission you need to have a good cry and say what you need to say without feeling like you are always falling apart at the seams in the presence of others.  Not all of us want to pour our hearts and souls out to everyone we meet.  We want to be able to go without the waterproof mascara for a day.

4: Can help you feel more in control of the grief process instead of a victim to it.

5: Offers a way to honor and preserve memories of the person who died and potentially create new family traditions.

6: Creating your own ritual or memorial for the person who died is very symbolic of the relationship you had as well as powerful to healing your inner being.

Examples of Rituals/Memory Preservation

1: Write a poem or journal entry that commits memories of that person to paper.  Those pages will bring you as well as others much comfort as you revisit them.

2: Buy or make a beautiful candle and light it each day through the month of December to mark the presence of the person who died that still lives on in your memory and in your heart.

3: Buy a live tree this year instead of using an artificial one and plant it in the spring as a memorial to the person who died.

4: Reminisce with close friends and family by going through picture albums and take turns sharing special stories about the person who died.

5: Make a donation to a charity that the person who died believed in or a charity you believe in.  Perhaps you may think of it as a present from the person who died given through you to others on their behalf.

6: Make or buy a special ornament that memorializes a memory you have with the person who died.

7: Create a journal with the “words of wisdom” you learned from the person who died and share it with someone else.

8: Volunteer for a local charity or organization where you feel your presence is really making a difference.  (Again, not all of these things are for everyone.  It really depends on where you are at in your grief.  Please do what is right for you and know that defining boundaries on how much you extend yourself is healthy.)

9: Place a miniature Christmas tree or holiday wreath at the gravesite of your loved one.

10: If you are entertaining friends or family members, you may want to decide on a buffet line instead of having an empty place at your table if the person who died would have customarily been there.

11: If you are doing the cooking for a dinner party or get together, you may want to decide on having something other than the traditional turkey for instance and go with a ham, roast or chicken as the main dish.

12: If Christmas stockings have been a family tradition and included the person who died, you may want to create a new family tradition.  You may want to put a few blank notecards in each family member’s stocking and let each person know they are for writing a note to the person who died.  It can be a few words that person used to say that were his/her signature so to speak, a story that person used to tell, a memory you have with that person, something you wish you could say to that person that you didn’t get to say, something you wish you could have done with that person, how much that person is missed, what that person gave to you that you will always have, etc.  This can be done throughout the month of December and then on Christmas Eve or a special day/evening, you can sit down as a family and read each card to one another or each person can simply look at them when they want to throughout this month.  This could become a new family tradition of putting blank notecards into stockings to not only honor the person who died but honor the living as well.  Each person could start writing out the same kinds of things for each person who is still with them.  It can bring a family much closer and more focused on what they have as a result of having known the person who died and by having each other rather than complicated grief which is focused only on the loss.  The season can be easier to get through when we think of what we appreciate in others.  It also helps us realize our true essence and everything that is good in ourselves.

13: Decide to do something special for someone else in the month of December.  You might decide to do a little baking for someone or a craft that you are good at but something that tells that person they are thought of too.

14: Pamper yourself with something you have been wanting and think of it as your surprise gift from the person who died.  It will always be a reminder that you made it through the first holiday.  If you feel some guilt about it, imagine how the person who died would have treated you.  If that person spoiled you, wouldn’t he or she want you to feel that again in their memory?  If that person did not spoil you, why not start something new?  Treat yourself as you would treat your best friend.  Now more than any other time you need to be gentle with yourself.  If it was not the way you treated yourself or were treated in the past, this will be one of the gifts of grief.  And yes, grief does have gifts even though the wrapping is tied with our heartstrings and unwrapping it may make us feel as though our lives have been ripped apart.  Know that you will heal and there are people who care about you.  Know that you are not alone even if you feel like it.  We all go through different things in our lives but here on the digest it doesn’t matter how your pain originated, what matters is that you know this is a place where you are accepted as you are, a haven from the judgments of others, a place where you are cared for unconditionally, a place with people that may even come to feel like family.

The Future

Know that the intensity of pain you feel now will not be with you forever.  Over the years there will be many places, aromas, sounds, and sights that instantly take you back in your memory, back in time with the person who died and you will think of him/her.  If you allow yourself to grieve which means to be your truest self - to trust yourself – to not hold back from being completely honest - you will be that much closer to understanding more about the enigma of life and of truly recognizing the impact that person had on your life – the good, the bad and the things that will always be a part of you.

Know that every loss has the potential to take us to depths of understanding we have never experienced before.  Out of that we may develop new levels of insight and compassion we had never experienced before.  We may even view our life’s purpose in a completely different light after having experienced the loss of someone we love.  Our lives are usually transformed in some way.  The “little things” are likely to be given much more significance than they were before.  It is not that we didn't know how to live before - it is that grief can bring forth new levels of awareness and perspectives.  It’s the story of our life before us and we don’t know how it ends.  We are continually writing it and looking back on all we have learned.  Grief can also bring things to the surface that were long buried and forgotten – things that may have stifled us in our lives because we didn’t know how to live with them.  Grief has the power to transform people and to bring about changes that no one ever thought possible.

I hope you will allow yourself to be real – to be as true to yourself as you can be – to know that it is the only way to really live.  Anything that compromises our truest selves is a death in and of itself to our own lives, our own selves.  My wish for you is that you will see the value of each day and the value in each one of us.  With love, understanding and compassion.

Twinkie Showdown

If I turn on the television one more time or visit one more website that blasts an advertisement making wild claims of "fat will melt off" or "quick weight loss, no exercise needed" I am going to get sick on my chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. LOL.

Surely the majority of adults today know that there is NO EASY WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT. Please don't say I'm the only one who knows this.

There are extreme options such as gastric bypass and lap band surgery but to consider those as easy options to lose weight is just ludicrous.

Has anyone spent their life counting calories and thought that was an easy way to lose weight? I'm a pretty smart cookie (oh food thought again) but even my own math skills aren't up to par enough to constantly twist and turn through calorie counting for every bite that goes into my mouth.

Without exercise, workouts, etc the weight loss is limited even with the best of diets and these days my workouts consist of very little that we can actually call a workout.

The sad reality is that society spends billions on potions, lotions, surgeries, pills, contraptions all of which hail the claim of helping a person lose weight. However there remains a problem with weight and this problem has escalated to our children at a very young age. Living at an unhealthy weight is something that must be addressed in our lives but we must realize that in order to properly address the problem we must first face the realistic fact that even the best of plans to lose weight are not "easy" and there is no magic product we can buy that will really make it easy.

The sooner we quit trying to magically melt the fat off and at the same time cram a twinkie down our throat we may finally change our eating habits in a healthy way and begin to lose the weight we want to. This doesn't mean we must forever deprive ourselves of the food we love, just learn how to eat in moderation. I am the first person that needs to practice what I am preaching :)

Do I Get Angry?

I had someone recently ask me if I ever get angry because they felt I always seemed so cheerful. Yes, I certainly do. I get angry over different things at different times. However, anger is not an emotion I willingly allow to rule my actions. I naturally have a terrible temper and over the years I've had to learn to control it. As a youth I couldn't control my temper and when I'd really lose it I felt totally out of control and I don't like that feeling. So I've worked hard as I've grown up to control it. Little by little I guess I did change because now looking back I don't get angry over things nearly as easily as I used to. Now my tendencies toward anger are really more like frustrations. I get frustrated over circumstances but it takes a lot to truly get me angry now.

This is not to say that I don't have my moments of total out of control anger. I certainly do experience that on occasion. Usually it is after I've become overwhelmed with things and have reached a point where I can't take anything else. Although there are certain topics and issues that I take very serious and those things can spark anger in me rather quickly. I've also learned to take anger when I feel it and turn it into something positive by allowing it to fuel my determination to survive in this world, to not let things get the best of me and most of all my determination to not allow anything or anyone to cheat me out of the wonderful moments of my life. Yes I have bad moments and bad experiences but I refuse to allow those to take from me all the good moments too.

Enjoying a beautiful day with mild temperatures. Relaxing on my porch. Bristol Tennessee is a great place to live.

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Another Sleepless night

I have a serious problem with sleep. Perhaps you could say I am a chronic insomniac. This is a problem I've had for as long as I can remember. Many nights I will go to bed, feeling tired as if I could easily fall asleep. Once reaching the bed, I'll close my eyes, try to breath with rhythm so as to become relaxed. Then as if I have no control over it, my thoughts begin racing about and I feel as though I can't lay there a minute longer and the urge to get out of bed and do something else is almost too much to ignore. I force myself to lie there but my mind just keeps thinking, quickly moving from one thought to another. My eyes pop open and wander around the room, trying to focus on what there is to see amidst darkness. Through the window the street light outside beams a dim light across the room. I lay there making out the figures of objects in my room and wonder why my eyes are open when I feel so tired.

I'll strain trying to hold my eye lids shut. My mind just keeps going over the days events, then skips back to yesterdays and from there something that happened leaps my memory into action concerning something else. I turn from one side to the other, beginning to feel as if I could scream. Sort of like it is when you have a sound driving you mad, like a drippy faucet. You just have to finally get up and tend to it before you rip the thing right out of the sink. It is that kind of feeling with nothing to yank out other than wanting to pull out a hammer and bonk yourself on the head to make you go to sleep <grin>

You lay there interrupting your constant thoughts with repetitive words such as "I have to get some sleep". I then try to count, I've even tried to focus on just one thought such as perhaps a happy event, writing something and go over that one thing again and again hoping to bore myself to sleep. Sometimes it works and I drift off to sleep. Other times it is fruitless. There are times that the things I try to do repetitively in my mind bring laughter. I'll say nursery rhymes thinking I'd get bored but I end up not being able to remember one and then my thoughts get active at trying to remember. Then I begin to giggle at myself.

Turning on the television seems to work for some people in providing a steady noise which makes it easier for them to fall asleep. For me it just provides something to become interested in and give me an excuse to not go to sleep. I just have to continue the struggle with silence in the room and laying there and battling the long night's fight for sleep. Sometimes the sun is peaking through the windows before I manage to wonder off in restful sleep. Hopefully there will come a day where I can remain in bed way into the morning...

Prayer for those with an illness

Read John 11:4
"When Jesus heard that. he said, This sickness is not unto death but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby."

Let us pray...

Dear our Father in heaven, please use our illness as a tool to glorify your heavenly name, to spread the gospel of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Please allow the illness to humble our hearts and make us more conscious of the type of love you behold for us. Lord please allow this illness to draw us closer to you, to make us more aware of how much we must depend on you for strength, courage and ability to get through difficult periods in our life. Lord we hope that our trials will bring great praise to your name and our difficulties in life will lead us to bring glory to you. We hope that the way we respond to our situation will show others that our strength to endure comes from the most high, our wonderful God in heaven. I pray that our actions show that we are walking the path through this life along side our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and it is he who carries us when we are weary. Lord, I thank you for the medical doctors that have been given the ability to research this disease and ask that you be with them to open their eyes even more. Lord I thank you for the answered prayers we have seen time and time again. We thank you for all of the prayer warriors that day after day continue to pray for us. We give you all the honor and the glory for the wonderful results of those prayers. Lord, we ask you to be with those that are going through sad and difficult times. Lay your hand on them and give them the peace they need. Lord just wrap them in your arms and hold them close so they can feel your presence and glorify you by giving their situation over to you and relying on you to give them the strength they need to get through it. Please continue to use our situation to draw others closer to you Lord and to draw ourselves closer to you. Without you in our hearts, without you in our lives we wouldn't get through any of this. So thank you Lord for never forsaking us and always being along side us. We turn our lives over to you Lord, you know the reasons behind what we are experiencing, you know the greater scheme and meaning of our lives. Give us the patience to endure whatever we must, the courage to face whatever life gives us, the strength to hope for a brighter tomorrow and the love to share with others the blessings you have given to us. We ask all of this in the precious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. -amen

Todays Weather

So far today in eastern tennessee the weather is warm and sunny beaming bright onto the porch. Some rain is building to our west and may bring a few sprinkles this evening.

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Tonight's thought to ponder

Agree to disagree: Respect Diversity

"Just because others think differently about an issue than we do ourselves, does that mean they're right and we're wrong or vice versa?

I believe that we all are different and in many ways we each operate in our own reality. No one sees the world the same way as I do and the reason for that is that no one shares my own unique perspective on life and the world around me. Due to each persons own perspective I cannot expect other people to ever completely see things in the same way as I do. I have to accept this as fact and once I do that then I am better able to understand others and learn from them.

I shouldn't ever waste my time trying to make others see things the way I do. It isn't productive to argue with someone because they see something different then I do. I need to agree to disagree and respect their right to have a different opinion. I try to learn from the person and take note of what they feel about an issue and see if there is something I can learn from it. I've accepted that no one will be exactly like me, no one will think exactly like I think and no one will always agree completely with me. I wouldn't want to live in a world like that anyway. It would be so boring to live where no one had their own individual personality and thoughts. This is a diverse world and if we respect each other and look for the good in everyone then no matter how different we all are and how different we all think, we can always come together and be of support to one another.

Remembering 9-11-2001.

Little did we know on September 10, 2001 that we were experiencing the eve of a tragedy. A disaster that most of us had never imagined. Tonight I sit here in a total somber mood as I remember when an online friend phoned to alert me to what was being shown on the news. She knew that I rarely turn the television on during the day but especially in the mornings. I was dumbstruck when I turned on the television and saw smoke bellowing from the World Trade Center. While I stood in front of the television so shocked that I couldn't even break away to move to a seat I suddenly felt a fear like I had never felt when they showed another plane hit the other tower. Then within moments it hit very close to home when they announced that a plane which had been hijacked was headed to Washington DC. At that time I lived in Maryland not far from that area.

Before I could even digest that they announced a fire at the Pentagon and soon afterwords that in fact a plane had crashed into it. There was a fear that took over like I'd never experienced. It made me think of other people who live in war prone countries and who must live each day with the fear of bombs falling from the sky or planes flying over to destroy areas close to them. Even if they know they are likely not the target just as I felt that my home wasn't the target of a hijacked plane the uncertainty of what was going to happen was overwhelming.

I think back about the lives that were still with us that day nine years ago but didn't even realize that they only had a short time to enjoy the life they cherished. I wonder if they knew how loved they were, I wonder if they knew how much they were needed. I wonder if their families had told them recently what they meant to them. So much unsaid, so many things left undone. This is what happens when tragedy strikes suddenly. In a flash a life can be lost and the whole world can be changed. On September 11, 2001 many lives were lost, many families torn apart and as a result I believe the world was changed. Not just here in the United States but everywhere. Every country now knows just how vulnerable they truly are to those who wish them harm. This date each year is an anniversary no one wishes to celebrate and everyone would prefer that it didn't exist. But it is upon us and we owe it to the lives lost to remember them and to remember their families.

In giving thought to that tragic day. It seems like it was only yesterday. I remember most those horrific scenes but today for the first time I actually saw the clear photos of people leaping from the towers at the World Trade Center. The images I had seen back on that date didn't show it up close or at least I didn't see those. One they showed today was so vivid that you felt you could reach into that television screen and somehow catch them and safely lower them to the ground. How horrified they must have been to have chosen to leap from a burning building. I'm sitting here mortified. I can't imagine that. I also can't imagine how it must have felt for those people to be running for their lives up the streets of New York as a plume of smoke and debris chased them. They didn't know what was inside of that plume, it could have very well been hiding the collapse of every building down the entire street. They did not know.

Then as I try to lift my mind from those images I remember how the world came together in their grief. The true human spirit amazed me. I wish that spirit was still so alive today. I fear that people are getting to complacent. They feel it is time we move on with our life. It is, that is true but if we move on before the job is done, a job that will safeguard us we'll only be facing another 9-11. It may be hard to watch all the ceremonies but the job is not finished to bring to justice those responsible and to safeguard our borders and tighten laws. The job is not done and perhaps by looking back on that tragic day it will remind us of what we are fighting for, of why we must not give up the fight, why we must not allow our government to move on without first keeping to their promises to make us a safer nation.

Enough lives have already been lost, lives were lost that horrible day, lives have been lost in battle fighting to defend us from another 9-11. Lives have been lost in wars to tear down terror networks. Lets not allow all those lives to have been lost in vain simply because it would be easier emotionally to just move on. I hope not. I pray not. To reach a place where we are safer and where the world is free of more terrorists If I must cry a tear every day by being reminded of that day, then that is what needs to be done. If those peoples tragic end is used to fuel our determination to fight on and win, then their death is serving a purpose.

JACKIE EVANCHO Opera Singer America's got talent

Tonight is the night we will learn if Jackie Evancho's amazing voice won her the ultimate title from America's got talent. I must say I like Michael Grim and yes even Prince Poppycock but all predictions are pointing toward Jackie as the winner. What do you think?

RIP Harold Gould

In later years he was known as Miles, the boyfriend of Rose Nylund (Betty White) on Golden Girls. I have memories of him from way back on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Rhoda as the father of Rhoda Morgenstern.

Harold Gould passed away on Saturday 9-11-2010 at the age of 86
He had an amazing career appearing in many movies. Click Here

View a wonderful clip of him from Rhoda.

Must Read

Attention to those living in the Bristol TN/VA area. This happened at the local Applebee's Restaurant.


Police looking for peeping restroom photographer | TriCities.com

Trip To Back Bone Rock

I went with my brother and sister in-law for a drive to back bone rock in Virginia a short while back and thought I'd share some photos and descriptions.

The Sign at the stairway to climb back bone rock.

You can see the tunnel through the rock between the trees. 

The base of the very high, very dangerous stairway leading to the top of the rock

 

Continuing to the next level of stairs

 

The View From The Top Of Back Bone Rock

For those less familiar, this is a huge rock tunnel and they have created a stairway albeit a treacherous one so you can hike up to the top. As you can see in the last photo above there are no rails or safety precautions once you get up there but it is a beautiful sight. I must confess that due to my hip problems I did not climb to the top and just sent my camera up with them. 

Views From The Ride Home

 

 

Todays weather

It is a sunny and warm day here in the beautiful mountain region of eastern Tennessee. The nights are becoming cooler but the day temps are mild. A wonderful day to spend time with those you love among the outdoor beauty we are blessed with.

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The Power Of Forgiving Yourself

When I was first diagnosed with scleroderma I felt a sense of guilt as if somehow it was my fault. I reflected back on everything in my life that I had done wrong and immediately saw it as the reason I was ill. In times such as this we tend to hold ourselves to harsher judgment then we do others. Suddenly those little things we did that seemed so small before are now these glooming bright blemishes on our lives and we see them as unforgivable. These emotions can quickly snowball into a mess of trouble as they did for me. Suddenly I viewed everything and everyone I touched as if they were my victims. I reached a point where I had no joy left because all I could see through the fog was that I was ruining all the hopes and dreams of those I loved.

I felt as if I had single-handedly ruined the lives of my siblings, husband and children solely because I was ill. Similar feelings of guilt can be experienced by someone who has a family member pass away. All we can think of is "What if I had done...?", "If only I had been there..." or "I wish I had told them...."

How Long Does It Take:

Some people linger at the stage of blaming themselves for a brief time and some much longer. There are no rules regarding how long it takes to cope with emotions as strong as these. However, I had to realize that we must face these feelings of guilt to put them to rest. We can't ignore it hoping it will go away. One of my favorite sayings is "the only way to get past something is through it". We must travel through it to get to the other side. We can't side-step it or jump over it. Understanding this will lead us to understand that God will be there to hold our hand and guide us every step of the way.

Have You Made The Choice?

Before you read further take a moment to turn your life over to the Lord if you haven't done so already and ask him to take control and guide you in the way you should go. Even if you are a mature Christian this step is something that can be repeated, there is always room to grow and room for better understanding.

On The Road:

You can begin this road to forgiveness by taking a look at the situation at hand. What are the facts concerning it? Was it something you had control over? Did you do what you thought was right? Don't focus on the "what ifs" and "if onlys" because they don't exist for us.

Forgiving Is Not Something That We've Never Done Before

Have you ever asked for forgiveness from God, for the past deeds you are blaming yourself for. Have you ever had to forgive a child of a mistake or for breaking something? Do you remember the gentleness you felt toward your child or perhaps a parent or sibling? What about the forgiveness you have held in your heart for those who have wronged you?

It's funny that we can readily forgive those around us, yet we can not seem to find compassion in our hearts for ourselves.

Steps To Forgiveness Of Self:

Try feeling some compassion for yourself. Accept that God has such compassion for you and if you can find a way to feel that for yourself you'll be well on the road to dealing with this. Realization will allow you to see clearly the situation at hand and to see the potential blessing that has been bestowed on you. That's right blessing. Since all that believers do is to be done in a way that glorifies Christ, this too is a blessing. This kindness and generosity to yourself will be the groundbreaking event which will lead to moving forward.

Forgiveness Is Something To Be Sought After

We must search ourselves in-depth for the goodness we hold through the Holy Spirit in our hearts so we can see the whole purpose of our lives (to glorify God). We must know that even though we make mistakes, we have an illness, or we get off base God is there with his open arms to forgive us and instead of punishing ourselves in our thoughts and actions we should give it to God and turn around and commit ourselves to Him. We have an obligation to honor that goodness, the goodness the Lord has bestowed upon us. The good qualities we have and the heart of compassion we have been given. There is good in every situation we just have to seek it out.

The Blame Game Can Keep Us from Forgiveness

We begin to question God, to question the illness, the situations, we begin the "Why me" syndrome? Sometimes we get into this mode of blaming God for what is wrong in our lives as well as everything that is bad in the world.

In Genesis 1:31 it says "And God saw every thing that he had made, and behold. it was very good." What God created was all good. He was not the author of bad, evil, sin or all the terrible things that have taken place. What I'd like to address here is that it is true that we are all sinners and none of us live a life free of doing bad things. Jesus Christ came to earth to suffer for our sins. By God's grace are we saved and our belief , faith and love for our Lord Jesus Christ. We along with Jesus are guaranteed Salvation. That is the answer. God offers clear and unending forgiveness if you ask it of him.

The Important Question:

Don't you think it is time you offer forgiveness to yourself. If we say that somehow our sinful acts has brought about our bad situation, or illness isn't that the same as saying we don't trust in God's forgiveness?

Know This

Bad things happen in this sinful world and I could write a whole other story on the reasons they do but I'll save that for another day. What I hope you grasp from this article is this, that God uses the pain and suffering we all bear to do many good things.

People who have met great challenges have done tremendous things by the grace of God. They will testify that they have felt more blessings in their life than they could have ever imagined, even through adversity, and illness.

We are often touched by the stories from people who show what seems as such courage and strength to overcome adversity but it is God's grace that helped them get through it and the glory for their achievements should be given to the Lord. God will take a bad situation and turn it into something good for His glory. We must learn to look past the bad part of our situation and see the good that can come from it. Perhaps there is a hidden purpose for your life. Whatever life brings your way run to the Lord in prayer for his direction as to where this situation should lead you. Search for ways with your whole heart to glorify God through your life.

May you feel the blessings of the Lord in your life today and every day.

Welcome

I would like to take a moment to welcome all to come and sit on my porch with me and discuss daily living. We all have many things to discuss about life in general and what is going on in the world around us. Life experiences teach us all great lessons and by sharing those lessons learned we in turn may show others that they are not going through life alone. I hope you will join in the conversations and even share a few of your own life experiences.

Sherry