It feels wonderful when the rough times begin to fade and the new wonderful days arrive. You begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that soon tomorrow will be here and it will be far better than today. There are times when you are going through the darkest days that you aren't able to see down the road to when things will improve. It is those dark days that drag you down. When the day arrives that you finally see the light breaking through the dark clouds, it is then that your spirit begins to feel alive again.
Sometimes the situation improves and allows the light to come in but often times it is my attitude about the situation that truly gives way to the darkness and brings in the shining light which guides me to a more positive approach to the initial situation. It is at that moment that I realize that I've been in the wrong frame of mind, in a place that wouldn't allow the light in. I chose to stay there far too long. Thankfully I found my way out.
How do you find your way out from the darkness and how do you begin to move toward the light?
I think each person has to find their own solution to this problem. For me, it is easier at times then it is at other times. For me, I often have to come to the decision to accept whatever the situation is and know that I'll get through it. I have to put aside worries and that allows me to relax and accept the situation and not be so stressed over it. I have also found that I tend to get frustrated during tough times and this wears me down more than anything else. Frustration really tugs at my thoughts and makes me feel as though my life is totally out of my control. This just compounds the stress of the situation and in the end increases the overall problem.
So I work to find some humor in each and every day. This will at least keep my head above water during a difficult time. Then little by little I begin to face the situation head on and deal with the things that are most troublesome to me. From there I begin to adjust my thinking and re-adapt my emotions. Little by little I'm able to begin to put many issues aside and focus more on the future. This isn't something you can do overnight but it is something that can be accomplished.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Phil Lucas: The passing of my brother at 49. Happy 62nd Birthday
A powerful quote that was sent to me today. A friend sent it to me because she knows I like to read comforting quotes. Instantly what came to mind when I read it was the passing of my brother. Perhaps this is something I must put in writing, something I must address, so here goes.
"Sometimes, when one person is absent, the whole world seems depopulated"
---Allphonse de Lamartine
This is how the world seemed to me when my brother passed away in May 1998 at the age of 49. It felt like the air was removed from this planet and that the world was depopulated. One of the most important people in my life was suddenly gone. How do you get past that? I surely did not know on that spring day.
Even now my heart seems to skip a beat and instantly tears well up in my eyes as I think of the moment I heard the terrible news over the phone. There was a part of my soul that was sucked out at that moment. It seemed to take my breath away.
My brothers are years older than I am and they were in many ways more of parental figures than brothers. He was one that I knew would be there for me no matter what. He had his strong personality which sometimes got on my nerves and we did butt heads at times. He was overly protective and head strong when it came to his beliefs and ideals. But the bottom line is that he had the biggest heart and was one of the most generous people I've ever known and without any doubt in my mind I knew he loved me and I knew he'd always be there by my side no matter what.
His death was particularly hard for me because I didn't feel that it was his time to go. I guess we never think it is the time for our loved one to leave us but I just couldn't imagine that he was only supposed to be on this earth for 49 short years. I couldn't fathom that he wasn't supposed to see his daughters graduate from high school or that he wasn't supposed to walk them down the isle on their wedding day or live to see his grandchildren. I still can't believe that it was his time, but as a Christian I know that there are reasons for everything so I have to trust in that faith.
There is a hole in our family, a missing link, a part of us that we cannot replace. We miss him so. I've finally reached a place where I can reflect on the good times in which we shared. He was a very serious man but he had a sense of humor like no one I've ever met before or since. He had a serious sense of humor if you will. That is hard to describe but he could pull off a joke so well because you couldn't tell if he was serious or joking until he had you under the spell of the joke and then released the punch line on you or revealed the trickery. We had such fun together and those are memories I'll always cherish. His special smirky smile that I've never seen on another human being shines in my memory and I hold it close to my heart. When I need to feel he is near, I focus on that smile and gently hear in my soul that soft but strong unique laughter of his. With this, although he is far, he seems close in spirit.
"Sometimes, when one person is absent, the whole world seems depopulated"
---Allphonse de Lamartine
This is how the world seemed to me when my brother passed away in May 1998 at the age of 49. It felt like the air was removed from this planet and that the world was depopulated. One of the most important people in my life was suddenly gone. How do you get past that? I surely did not know on that spring day.
Even now my heart seems to skip a beat and instantly tears well up in my eyes as I think of the moment I heard the terrible news over the phone. There was a part of my soul that was sucked out at that moment. It seemed to take my breath away.
My brothers are years older than I am and they were in many ways more of parental figures than brothers. He was one that I knew would be there for me no matter what. He had his strong personality which sometimes got on my nerves and we did butt heads at times. He was overly protective and head strong when it came to his beliefs and ideals. But the bottom line is that he had the biggest heart and was one of the most generous people I've ever known and without any doubt in my mind I knew he loved me and I knew he'd always be there by my side no matter what.
His death was particularly hard for me because I didn't feel that it was his time to go. I guess we never think it is the time for our loved one to leave us but I just couldn't imagine that he was only supposed to be on this earth for 49 short years. I couldn't fathom that he wasn't supposed to see his daughters graduate from high school or that he wasn't supposed to walk them down the isle on their wedding day or live to see his grandchildren. I still can't believe that it was his time, but as a Christian I know that there are reasons for everything so I have to trust in that faith.
There is a hole in our family, a missing link, a part of us that we cannot replace. We miss him so. I've finally reached a place where I can reflect on the good times in which we shared. He was a very serious man but he had a sense of humor like no one I've ever met before or since. He had a serious sense of humor if you will. That is hard to describe but he could pull off a joke so well because you couldn't tell if he was serious or joking until he had you under the spell of the joke and then released the punch line on you or revealed the trickery. We had such fun together and those are memories I'll always cherish. His special smirky smile that I've never seen on another human being shines in my memory and I hold it close to my heart. When I need to feel he is near, I focus on that smile and gently hear in my soul that soft but strong unique laughter of his. With this, although he is far, he seems close in spirit.
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