When I was first diagnosed with scleroderma I felt a sense of guilt as if somehow it was my fault. I reflected back on everything in my life that I had done wrong and immediately saw it as the reason I was ill. In times such as this we tend to hold ourselves to harsher judgment then we do others. Suddenly those little things we did that seemed so small before are now these glooming bright blemishes on our lives and we see them as unforgivable. These emotions can quickly snowball into a mess of trouble as they did for me. Suddenly I viewed everything and everyone I touched as if they were my victims. I reached a point where I had no joy left because all I could see through the fog was that I was ruining all the hopes and dreams of those I loved.
I felt as if I had single-handedly ruined the lives of my siblings, husband and children solely because I was ill. Similar feelings of guilt can be experienced by someone who has a family member pass away. All we can think of is "What if I had done...?", "If only I had been there..." or "I wish I had told them...."
How Long Does It Take:
Some people linger at the stage of blaming themselves for a brief time and some much longer. There are no rules regarding how long it takes to cope with emotions as strong as these. However, I had to realize that we must face these feelings of guilt to put them to rest. We can't ignore it hoping it will go away. One of my favorite sayings is "the only way to get past something is through it". We must travel through it to get to the other side. We can't side-step it or jump over it. Understanding this will lead us to understand that God will be there to hold our hand and guide us every step of the way.
Have You Made The Choice?
Before you read further take a moment to turn your life over to the Lord if you haven't done so already and ask him to take control and guide you in the way you should go. Even if you are a mature Christian this step is something that can be repeated, there is always room to grow and room for better understanding.
On The Road:
You can begin this road to forgiveness by taking a look at the situation at hand. What are the facts concerning it? Was it something you had control over? Did you do what you thought was right? Don't focus on the "what ifs" and "if onlys" because they don't exist for us.
Forgiving Is Not Something That We've Never Done Before
Have you ever asked for forgiveness from God, for the past deeds you are blaming yourself for. Have you ever had to forgive a child of a mistake or for breaking something? Do you remember the gentleness you felt toward your child or perhaps a parent or sibling? What about the forgiveness you have held in your heart for those who have wronged you?
It's funny that we can readily forgive those around us, yet we can not seem to find compassion in our hearts for ourselves.
Steps To Forgiveness Of Self:
Try feeling some compassion for yourself. Accept that God has such compassion for you and if you can find a way to feel that for yourself you'll be well on the road to dealing with this. Realization will allow you to see clearly the situation at hand and to see the potential blessing that has been bestowed on you. That's right blessing. Since all that believers do is to be done in a way that glorifies Christ, this too is a blessing. This kindness and generosity to yourself will be the groundbreaking event which will lead to moving forward.
Forgiveness Is Something To Be Sought After
We must search ourselves in-depth for the goodness we hold through the Holy Spirit in our hearts so we can see the whole purpose of our lives (to glorify God). We must know that even though we make mistakes, we have an illness, or we get off base God is there with his open arms to forgive us and instead of punishing ourselves in our thoughts and actions we should give it to God and turn around and commit ourselves to Him. We have an obligation to honor that goodness, the goodness the Lord has bestowed upon us. The good qualities we have and the heart of compassion we have been given. There is good in every situation we just have to seek it out.
The Blame Game Can Keep Us from Forgiveness
We begin to question God, to question the illness, the situations, we begin the "Why me" syndrome? Sometimes we get into this mode of blaming God for what is wrong in our lives as well as everything that is bad in the world.
In Genesis 1:31 it says "And God saw every thing that he had made, and behold. it was very good." What God created was all good. He was not the author of bad, evil, sin or all the terrible things that have taken place. What I'd like to address here is that it is true that we are all sinners and none of us live a life free of doing bad things. Jesus Christ came to earth to suffer for our sins. By God's grace are we saved and our belief , faith and love for our Lord Jesus Christ. We along with Jesus are guaranteed Salvation. That is the answer. God offers clear and unending forgiveness if you ask it of him.
The Important Question:
Don't you think it is time you offer forgiveness to yourself. If we say that somehow our sinful acts has brought about our bad situation, or illness isn't that the same as saying we don't trust in God's forgiveness?
Know This
Bad things happen in this sinful world and I could write a whole other story on the reasons they do but I'll save that for another day. What I hope you grasp from this article is this, that God uses the pain and suffering we all bear to do many good things.
People who have met great challenges have done tremendous things by the grace of God. They will testify that they have felt more blessings in their life than they could have ever imagined, even through adversity, and illness.
We are often touched by the stories from people who show what seems as such courage and strength to overcome adversity but it is God's grace that helped them get through it and the glory for their achievements should be given to the Lord. God will take a bad situation and turn it into something good for His glory. We must learn to look past the bad part of our situation and see the good that can come from it. Perhaps there is a hidden purpose for your life. Whatever life brings your way run to the Lord in prayer for his direction as to where this situation should lead you. Search for ways with your whole heart to glorify God through your life.
May you feel the blessings of the Lord in your life today and every day.
No comments:
Post a Comment