Change......

"GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference." -- Author Unknown
 
This saying is so true. We do need to accept the things we cannot change. So often we want to fix things that are just not able to be fixed. Perhaps it is not our place to fix them. A good example is with our children. When they are going down a path we feel is the wrong one for them to travel we instantly want to rush in and put them on the right course. But if that child doesn't want to go down the path we've chosen for them there is nothing we can do to alter that. We can try to persuade them but in the end it is their choice to make once they are grown.

I also find that I must accept the things I cannot change regarding my illness. That is not easy because I want to somehow find a way to just make it all go away. Trying to change something that cannot be changed is very frustrating and stressful. By the same token we should hope for the strength and courage to take action and change the areas of our lives that we can make better. We can learn to take charge of things in our lives that we can use to become a better person. This also is not always easy because sometimes doing nothing in a tough situation seems like the safest road to go but it isn't always the wisest. Standing up and taking action takes courage and guts. It isn't always easy to face up to things in our life which we'd prefer to ignore.

Knowing the difference between those things we can change and those we cannot is not an easy task. I know that I get them confused constantly. Often times I don't know it is something I cannot change until I've tried over and over to change it. I guess it ends up being an admission to defeat and then I realize that it wasn't my situation to alter. I have to leave it to work out on its own. I have no idea how to explain a way to know the difference. I guess over the years through much trial and error we begin to sort situations out and recognize those things we just have to accept as is...

My prayer to cope with illness

Read John 11:4
"When Jesus heard that. he said, This sickness is not unto death but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified thereby."

Dear our Father in heaven, please use my illness as a tool to glorify your heavenly name, to spread the gospel of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Please allow the illness to humble my heart and make me more conscious of the type of love you behold for me. Lord please allow this illness to draw me closer to you, to make me more aware of how much I must depend on you for strength, courage and ability to get through difficult periods in my life. Lord I hope that my trials will bring great praise to your name and my difficulties in life will lead me to bring glory to you. I hope that the way I respond to my situation will show others that my strength to endure comes from the most high, our wonderful God in heaven. I pray that my actions show that I am walking the path through this life along side my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and it is he who carries me when I am weary. Lord, I thank you for the medical doctors that have been given the ability to research this disease and ask that you be with them to open their eyes even more. Lord I thank you for the answered prayers I have seen time and time again. I thank you for all of the prayer warriors that day after day continue to pray for me. I give you all the honor and the glory for the wonderful results of those prayers. Lord, I ask you to be with those that are going through sad and difficult times. Lay your hand on them and give them the peace they need. Lord just wrap them in your arms and hold them close so they can feel your presence and glorify you by giving their situation over to you and relying on you to give them the strength they need to get through it. Please continue to use my situation to draw others closer to you Lord and to draw myself closer to you. Without you in my heart, without you in my life I wouldn't get through any of this. So thank you Lord for never forsaking me and always being along side me. I turn my life over to you Lord, you know the reasons behind what I am experiencing, you know the greater scheme and meaning of my life. Give me the patience to endure whatever I must, the courage to face whatever life gives me, the strength to hope for a brighter tomorrow and the love to share with others the blessings you have given to me. I ask all of this in the precious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. -amen

Standing by the Waters edge

Have you ever stood by the waters edge and felt the peaceful surroundings? You can feel serenity when standing near the rushing waves along an oceans beach, lying by the sunny seaside, boating in a lake cove or just sticking your feet into a creek bed. It is easy to sense the tranquility that the water brings if you open your heart to its glistening qualities.

As you stand at the edge of the water where it meets up with land that forms the shoreline an inner sensation overpowers you which impresses the emotional comprehension that there is no limit to harmony in the world. Sadly that only lasts for a short time and soon life spins back into play and you must return to reality.

When life is bearing down on you like a storm take a moment to return to the waters edge and feel the calm. Take a trip to the waters edge in person, in your thoughts or even in your dreams. Allow the experience to relax you and bring you to a special place where peace and tranquility reside. Store a little of that in your soul to take along with you as you cope with each new day.

2010 - A Year Coming To a Close

As 2010 comes to a close I look back over the last year and although there have been many tough days there also were many days filled with joy and happiness. A lot of water has crossed the bridge so to speak but I'm happy to say that I've not drowned (giggle).

When I look back in hindsight it is so easy to see all the things I've went through and it seems so right to say to myself "How did I get through that?" but I did get through it. That fact gives me the will to look forward to the new year and to know that no matter what I'm forced to face I can get thorough it and at the end of 2011 I'll be stronger and a better person because of it.

I'll learn something from each experience, I'll gain something from all the adventures and most of all I'm sure to meet many new people and enjoy many wonderful times with all my friends and family. Just like this year, at the end of next year (2011) I'm sure that all the good that I've been blessed to enjoy will by far outweigh the bad.

So I'm looking forward to the coming year. I hope every person has a wonderful new year.

Seeing Over The Horizon

It feels wonderful when the rough times begin to fade and the new wonderful days arrive. You begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that soon tomorrow will be here and it will be far better than today. There are times when you are going through the darkest days that you aren't able to see down the road to when things will improve. It is those dark days that drag you down. When the day arrives that you finally see the light breaking through the dark clouds, it is then that your spirit begins to feel alive again.

Sometimes the situation improves and allows the light to come in but often times it is my attitude about the situation that truly gives way to the darkness and brings in the shining light which guides me to a more positive approach to the initial situation. It is at that moment that I realize that I've been in the wrong frame of mind, in a place that wouldn't allow the light in. I chose to stay there far too long. Thankfully I found my way out.

How do you find your way out from the darkness and how do you begin to move toward the light?

I think each person has to find their own solution to this problem. For me, it is easier at times then it is at other times. For me, I often have to come to the decision to accept whatever the situation is and know that I'll get through it. I have to put aside worries and that allows me to relax and accept the situation and not be so stressed over it. I have also found that I tend to get frustrated during tough times and this wears me down more than anything else. Frustration really tugs at my thoughts and makes me feel as though my life is totally out of my control. This just compounds the stress of the situation and in the end increases the overall problem.

So I work to find some humor in each and every day. This will at least keep my head above water during a difficult time. Then little by little I begin to face the situation head on and deal with the things that are most troublesome to me. From there I begin to adjust my thinking and re-adapt my emotions. Little by little I'm able to begin to put many issues aside and focus more on the future. This isn't something you can do overnight but it is something that can be accomplished.

Phil Lucas: The passing of my brother at 49. Happy 62nd Birthday

A powerful quote that was sent to me today. A friend sent it to me because she knows I like to read comforting quotes. Instantly what came to mind when I read it was the passing of my brother. Perhaps this is something I must put in writing, something I must address, so here goes.

"Sometimes, when one person is absent, the whole world seems depopulated"
---Allphonse de Lamartine

This is how the world seemed to me when my brother passed away in May 1998 at the age of 49. It felt like the air was removed from this planet and that the world was depopulated. One of the most important people in my life was suddenly gone. How do you get past that? I surely did not know on that spring day.

Even now my heart seems to skip a beat and instantly tears well up in my eyes as I think of the moment I heard the terrible news over the phone. There was a part of my soul that was sucked out at that moment. It seemed to take my breath away.

My brothers are years older than I am and they were in many ways more of parental figures than brothers. He was one that I knew would be there for me no matter what. He had his strong personality which sometimes got on my nerves and we did butt heads at times. He was overly protective and head strong when it came to his beliefs and ideals. But the bottom line is that he had the biggest heart and was one of the most generous people I've ever known and without any doubt in my mind I knew he loved me and I knew he'd always be there by my side no matter what.

His death was particularly hard for me because I didn't feel that it was his time to go. I guess we never think it is the time for our loved one to leave us but I just couldn't imagine that he was only supposed to be on this earth for 49 short years. I couldn't fathom that he wasn't supposed to see his daughters graduate from high school or that he wasn't supposed to walk them down the isle on their wedding day or live to see his grandchildren. I still can't believe that it was his time, but as a Christian I know that there are reasons for everything so I have to trust in that faith.

There is a hole in our family, a missing link, a part of us that we cannot replace. We miss him so. I've finally reached a place where I can reflect on the good times in which we shared. He was a very serious man but he had a sense of humor like no one I've ever met before or since. He had a serious sense of humor if you will. That is hard to describe but he could pull off a joke so well because you couldn't tell if he was serious or joking until he had you under the spell of the joke and then released the punch line on you or revealed the trickery. We had such fun together and those are memories I'll always cherish. His special smirky smile that I've never seen on another human being shines in my memory and I hold it close to my heart. When I need to feel he is near, I focus on that smile and gently hear in my soul that soft but strong unique laughter of his. With this, although he is far, he seems close in spirit.

Follow Your Destiny

There comes a time in your life when you realize that if you stand still, you will remain at this point forever. You realize that if you fall down and stay down, life will pass you by. Life's circumstances are not always what you might like. The pattern of life does not necessarily go as you plan or want.

Beyond any understanding, you may at times be led in different directions than you ever imagined, dreamed or desired. Yet if you had never put any effort into choosing a path or trying to carry out your dream, then perhaps you would have no direction at all.

Rather than wondering about or questioning the direction your life has taken, accept the fact that there is a path before you now. Shake off the "what if's", and rid yourself of confusion. Whatever is - is what's important. Your past is a brief reflection. Your future is yet to be realized. Today is here for you.

Walk your path one step at a time - with courage, faith, and determination. Keep your head up and cast your dreams to the stars. Soon your steps will become firm and your footing will be solid again. A path that you never imagined will become the most comfortable direction you could have ever hoped to follow.

Keep your belief in yourself and walk into your new journey. You will find it magnificent, spectacular, and beyond your wildest dreams. Take Destiny's hand and let it guide you. You will never be sorry.