This is who I am

We all go through trials in our life. Different people go through different sort of trials but they challenge us as a person all the same. A person may be going through financial difficulties, a divorce, legal problems, family fights, even life challenging illnesses. When we are faced with something of this type we often begin to allow that situation to define us as a person. It is at our lowest point when someone or something is standing outside of ourselves and telling us, we owe them, they want a divorce, you have a disease, etc, it is at that moment that we need to get very still and focus inside of ourselves and decide right then...No this is who I am! Define ourselves with a focus on the real person we are. Don't allow anyone or anything make you into something you aren't. When you are facing challenges, attacks from others, illnesses or any tough situation choose to look within yourself. You know who you are better than anyone else. You know how to get through whatever the challenge is. Just search your heart, your soul and reach out to others for support. True friends will be there because they love you just as you are.

- Posted by Sherry Lucas using BlogPress for iPad.

How does your spirit grow?.

The nursery rhyme goes "how does your garden grow" Some people have a "green thumb" a natural ability to grow beautiful plants with such ease. Other people can't get anything to grow and resort to decorating with artificial plants to avoid killing anymore of their investments.

This thought can also be applied to some degree when you pose the question "how does your spirit grow." There are people who easily recognize what is needed to grow their spirit so that it becomes a productive and useful part of their soul.

The first step in growing your spirit is acknowledging it and learning to respect it. Then the person must nurture it, and watch it grow and rely on it to get through what ever life throws at them. Through such reliance they better cope emotionally with daily struggles and any serious or tragic events in their life. They may for a short term lose this vision but they are easily able to get back on course.

Then there are people who become accustomed to ignoring their spirit for a variety of reasons and thrust themselves into the darkness of a life with no direction. Some of these people have been hit so hard by the realities of their life that they've lost their vision into their spirit. It can be a real struggle for some to regain their vision and get their life back on a positive path. Sadly some of these people due to their inability to acknowledge their spirit never are able to really know their inner self, their inner strengths and what they can do and deal with if they only look within their soul and feed their inner spirit. They then often resort to using artificial emotions to cope with their life, their struggles and adversities. They form these emotions as a coping mechanism because they are out of touch with their spirit which in turn puts them out of touch with their true emotions.

When we reference the term "spirit" different perceptions come to mind. Some of a religious nature but for the sake of this writing I'm speaking about the spirit we all have inside us. This spirit is what ushers us through the years on earth that we call Life. To only name a few? a person can have a mild and meek spirit, an adventuress, risk taking spirit, a courageous 'go gettin' spirit, a fighting spirit and once and a while you'll come across someone that has a spirit that will change the world or at least the world of those around them.

Does a person's spirit come naturally? Sometimes this is true, but there are also people whose spirit is shaped in large part by experiences they are forced by life to endure. How they react to situations in their life can and will shape them into the person they become. I've known people who were meek and mild mannered but once their life hit a hurdle or a bump in the road they became bitter and abandoned their spirit and looked only at the pain. I've known people who were angry and hateful but when faced with adversity their spirit softened and the person became nurturing, compassionate and a caring individual. In both of these cases they were sadly hit by unforeseen and unfortunate circumstances but one example looked at the pain while the other looked into their spirit and saw the true meaning of life.


So how do we grow our spirit? By looking at the wonders of our life and of the world we are so fortunate to be in. Looking at the good more than the bad, addressing the happy more than the sad. Realizing the blessings that life has given us and when all is said and done we see that there is more to this life on earth. Once we realize this then the spirit inside of us takes over and will comfort us, inspire us and most of all give us the strength and wisdom to face whatever life presents us.

Porch Philosophy Daily News for May 15, 2013

Read Porch Philosophy Daily News for May 15, 2013 on http://paper.li/PorchPhilosophy/1364356205


- Posted by Sherry Lucas using BlogPress for iPad.

What Is A True Friend?

Webster's dictionary defines friendship as a relationship where one knows, likes, admires and trusts another or where one is allied with another in a cause, or where one is a supporter of a group or a movement. I define friendship as a relationship between two people based on mutual respect, affection and admiration.

"The only way to have a true friend is to be one." How can we find true friendship in this often phony, temporary world? Friendship involves recognition or familiarity with another personality. Friends often share likes and dislikes, interests, pursuits, and passion.

How can we recognize potential friendship? Signs include a mutual desire for companionship and perhaps a common bond of some kind. Beyond that, genuine friendship involves a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life.

True friendship involves action: doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in return; sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or negative criticism.

True friendship involves relationship. Those mutual attributes we mentioned above become the foundation in which recognition transpires into relationship. Many people say, "Oh, he's a good friend of mine," yet they never take time to spend time with that "good friend."

Friendship takes time: time to get to know each other, time to build shared memories, time to invest in each others growth.Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations.We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up known by others the next day! Failing to be trustworthy with those intimate secrets can destroy a friendship in a hurry.

Faithfulness and loyalty are key to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship, there is no backbiting, no negative thoughts, no turning away. Loyalty is also essential to true friendship.

The famous maxim that "a friend in need is a friend indeed" is not the entire story of loyalty, however. A friend in triumph may be even harder to find. Isn't it easier to be a savior than a cheerleader for our friends?

It takes twenty-four-karat loyalty for a friend to soar alongside us when we are flying high rather than to bring us down to earth. Loyal friends not only lend a hand when you're in need; they applaud your successes and cheer you on without envy or jealousy when you prosper.

Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends.

Real and true friendship involves freedom of choice, accountability, honesty, and dedication. Real friendship looks at the heart, not just the "packaging." Genuine friendship loves for love's sake, not for what it can get in return. True friendship is both challenging and exciting. It risks, it overlooks faults, and it loves unconditionally, but it also involves being truthful, even though it may hurt.

Honesty is a prerequisite to the true friends' relationship. It requires honesty that is carefully dealt in the context of respect. Dedication refers to the ability of two people to influence each others plans, thoughts, actions, and emotions, to spend time and effort on friendship, to give up something important or valuable for sake of friendship. Personal sacrifice. Selfless devotion. Commitment. These are the noble qualities true friendship requires.]

A true friend makes no excuses of having work or appointments or anything but will be with you whenever you need him/her. In your hour of desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes you.

A true friend is not an opportunist. Instead of having hundreds of good friends, if you have one true friend, treat yourself lucky. If you can also become a true friend of someone, you will be blessed, because it is much easier for all of us to expect but very difficult to give.

Be a true friend yourself first.

Mother's day.... A note we all should take to heart

Remember to Call Your Mother...While you can

MOTHER'S DAY
By Sherry Denise Lucas

The sun shone bright onto her face, dancing on her eyelids. Within a few seconds, she opened her eyes to a new day. So full of promise and hope, just like the morning sunshine.

She bounded out of bed and pulled the blinds up. A gay spring day looked at her from the yard. Movement in a nearby tree caught her attention, so she stopped and gazed. Not wanting to startle whatever it was, she didn't move a muscle, only her eyes were lively.

Tiny heads peeped out over the top of a nest as a bird carrying a large worm hopped closer. Greedily, the babies took what was offered, then seemed to cry for more. She couldn't hear them, but their little mouths were wide open.

Smiling, she thought of her own children crying to be fed as infants. So dependent upon her, every need urgent and immediate. She watched as the larger bird flew off to find another morsel for the babies.

Turning around, her gaze came to rest upon the phone. Blinking back tears, she forced her attention elsewhere. Some said it was silly, and yet she yearned for that contact. Goodness knows, she could take care of herself, look at all the people she had taken care of for so many years. She got herself busy and did the things she needed to do. Still, the house was strangely empty. Nothing could match the atmosphere of children in the house. Like the baby bird, they had to fly and find their way in the world. She knew this in her mind, yet her heart still was saddened.

After a leisurely breakfast, she smiled and decided to relax by the window. It was such a beautiful day and it would be a shame to waste it. The plants were beginning to really take hold again after the long winter. The yard was a riot of color.

Sipping a cup of hot chocolate, she curled up by the window. She saw a young family walking by on the sidewalk. The young couple both helping to push the stroller with the baby in it. That sure brought back memories, she thought.

Her own children had already started their families. She wondered if they ever really understood. Laughing and talking, the young couple passed by. It seemed like that these days. Time marched on and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

She wasn't really sure she wanted to stop it, but it would be nice sometimes. The sun climbed higher and higher in the sky. The day was warming up nicely, it wasn't too hot this time of year. She opened the window to feel the nice breeze upon her gentle face.

'Would they love her no matter what?' she thought. It was so much like she was with her own mother. You did the best you could and that is all you could do. It was one of natures' cruel jokes that you had children when you didn't know very much. Then when you knew what you were doing, it was too late. Sure mistakes were made, but still she had tried to love them in adulthood. Shouldn't that count for something? They had been part of her body at one time. You sure couldn't be closer to someone than that. Rocking back and forth, she felt the warm breeze on her face. It just wasn't fair, you did the best you could, what you thought was right, and it didn't matter. Oh you wanted so badly to take all the pain for them, and make sure that no one ever hurt them.

Shaking her head, she knew that must have been bad for them when they did get hurt as a child. They wouldn't have learned how to stand on their own if she hadn't let them go those times. Like the baby birds being pushed out of the nest. They wailed and cheeped, but it was the best thing for them. Taking a sip, she thought, but, she was tough. She had survived many other things, what was a day like this meant for anyway? A bit of recognition? Hmm, she just imagined all the mother birds gathered together, complaining that their offspring never noticed them anymore. That brought a brief smile to her lips.

It was natures' way, she thought resignedly. Her tender love had nurtured them through the early years. She could at least know that they were ok because of her. Well, because of themselves also, of course. Society tried to teach her children what they wanted them to know. But, still they needed to know that... She shook her head, these thoughts were getting her nowhere. Wiping a tear away, she took another sip. It was so hard being a mother.

She didn't want to seem whiny or clinging. That is the reason she didn't call them today, not because she didn't care. Let her children express their love to her as they saw fit. It was so hard to wait, though. The sun began to slip further towards the west. It had been hours and she hadn't even noticed. The chocolate was very cold, and not very comforting. She felt no appetite and didn't want to move. Some things no one else could do for her but her children. Not a husband, a lover, a friend, or anyone else. This day was a bond between her and her children.

Sweet tears rolled from her eyes as she wrapped her arms around her knees. Had she really failed? Intellectually, she knew she had done the best she could do. Could anyone ask more? Yet, it didn't seem to be enough. She sighed deeply as she watched the phone awaiting its ring.

Her children were the ultimate judge on this day. Had she been a good mother, or like one of the horror stories one reads about in the tabloids. This, however, was one area where only her children could soothe her.

The sun finally dipped below the horizon, and still she had not moved. No calls and no visit today. It was like any other day. Do your duty and we will shuffle you off somewhere where we don't have to look at you. Why should I expect anything more?

Standing up and wiping her face, she resolved not to feel sorry for herself anymore. She had run the whole range of emotions today, and it hadn't changed a thing. Sometimes she wished this day would be abolished.

Her children were alive and well. That is more than could be said for some of the other women she knew. She did not have the anguish of burying all her children. That was a blessing. So what if they forgot again? It was just another day.

She bustled around and fixed herself a quiet supper, then curled up with a book in bed. The phone sat there like a sentinel, yet it didn't ring. She turned, so as not to see it, and continued to read.

Gaining some inner resolve, she held her emotions tightly reined. No matter what , she loved them. With a tender smile, a tear rolled on her pillow as she drifted to sleep.

- Posted by Sherry Lucas using BlogPress for iPad.

Learn from our ancestors

We hold within us all the beauty in life Our Creator has bestowed upon us. We also hold within us the values, teachings and the ways of our elders who lived before us. No matter our family heritage there are those who came before us that have taught great things to others. If we hold dear those good things that have been taught to us over the years and allow them to reflect in who we are then we too can teach good things to our children and the children of the world. Don't allow anyone to take from you the great teachings of your ancestors. Some of my most treasured memories in life were of the teachings from my parents, grandparents that they passed down to me from those who taught them. We now hold the staff to march ahead in life and make a difference. I think the responsibility that has been passed down to us is important enough to take serious and pursue with honor and respect.

Facing Fear

"it is the Unknown that nearly drives us nutso."

This is actually a form of fear that many of us have. We fear so many things in our lives. I have had to come to a quick realization about a few things recently along this area. Fear is a common problem. Some of our fears are legitimate but some of them may be groundless. Either way they can mean anguish for the person living in fear. We sometimes worry about things that aren't real. We imagine that illness is going to wreck havoc with our bodies, or even kill us. We also worry about things in our families, their safety, etc. Some worry that a child may get their illness. I've heard women speak about that they fear that their husband will leave them if they get really ill. Their fear had no basis because their husband to that point hadn't done anything to warrant these thoughts.

Not being afraid is an element of trusting God and of being a godly person. Being fearless is included in the description of the excellent wife in Proverbs 31 See Proverbs 31:21,25. Peter tells us to "do what is right without being frightened by any fear" 1 Peter 3:5,6. God's word does acknowledge that fear may be a problem but we are to respond to fears in a biblical manner. So many times our fear opens the door to panic and with panic we often get carried away and the fears that develop don't correlate with the actual circumstances. We have added reasons to be afraid without any concrete facts.

Think about it, how many of us have had this feeling that something bad is going to happen? That is senseless fear of something that may never happen but we'll lie awake at night or worry constantly about it. How many have been afraid when our children go out by themselves? Well we should pray to God to take care of our child, believe that he will, and trust him to keep his word. Yes bad things do happen and people do lose their children but we must not be anxious, uneasy or worried for something that may never happen.

When fear takes over it may hinder us in being steadfast in our own responsibilities. We may not be able to sleep and then we are sick afterwards and can't do things we are responsible for. Fear can also open the gateway to cause sin to enter. When we are afraid or distraught from the fear we are more likely to be impatient or harsh with someone. Some people may have to lie to others to justify their fear. Some wives may let their fears cause them to try to usurp the headship given by God to husbands. We may be drawn through fear of what others may think to a point where we engage in arguments. Fear can cripple us emotionally if we don't put the situation into God's hand and trust him to take care of it and us put our fear away.

Look at what Fear caused Peter to do. When Jesus was arrested Peter was afraid of what may happen to him if the people knew he was with Jesus before and was one of his apostles. Peter denied the Lord Jesus. Matthew 26:69-70. We can all understand Peters fear but he denied the Lord and that was a sinful act. We must remind ourselves that God was and still is sovereign over every circumstance. God will give you the grace to make it through any trial if you just give it over to him, believe his word where he said he will handle it for us and trust him to keep his word. Read Proverbs 29:25 Hebrews 13:6 and 1 Peter 3:6 Worrying about tomorrow is wrong because we don't know what tomorrow holds. We should just deal with today and ask for God's grace to manage.

We all know that we shouldn't fear but should run to God in prayer about things and give it unto him to solve and not worry about it. See: Philippians 4:6,7 If we put what we fear into his hands then we can have peace. Here are some scriptures that may help you find solutions to fear.

Galatians 2:12 "For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles; but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision"
We shouldn't be a man pleaser but work to please God. It is more important what God thinks of you than what people think of you. In the scripture above Peter was being a pleaser of men, he feared what they would think of him. His desire to please men placed him in the position of having to fear he would be found out. We should seek God's approval not mans.

Psalm 119:52,114,143,165 (Due to length I won't type these scriptures out but please go read). From this I found great peace from God if I will memorize and meditate on God's promises that apply to me.

These promises are tried and true. The promises that apply to our own lives will fortify us. If we can memorize a specific scripture that applies to a situation we are experiencing and recite it when we feel fear, it will help us to respond with wisdom and according to scripture.

Proverbs 3:21-26 (Again due to length I won't type these scriptures out but please go read). From this I realized that if our decisions are wise ones and based on scripture then we will rest more peacefully and our fears and worries will be less. Not making wise and biblical decisions can actually cause us to allow snares for ourselves to be set up. Wisdom is the ability to relate truth (God's word) to life situations. If we use wisdom we will know how to cope with fears we may have. The scripture above in Proverbs even shows us that in extreme circumstances when we are being attacked by wickedness, fear will not overcome us if we use wisdom and depend on his word to guide us.

II Timothy 1:7 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear but of power, and of love and of a sound mind".

Boy does this speak to us. Reminding ourselves of God's power and his love for us and all mankind should be of great comfort to us when we have fear. When we are going through something that frightens us we tend to get carried away and may be fearful of what we THINK about the circumstances and not fearful of the actual true circumstance. We may have added things in there that aren't true or haven't happened. Then our focus becomes inward and we become more frightened. We worry about what is going to happen to us when we should pray for the factual circumstance we are facing at that moment and put what MAY happen into God's hands. We shouldn't fear sickness or death. Read Matthew 10:28 and Proverbs 1:7
Psalm 23:4 "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

I had a man ask me once what thought crossed my mind when I read that scripture. I said "Am I going to die?" LOL. He said that it meant I shouldn't be afraid of death. I should be at peace with God and know that he will take care of me. My time will come when it comes and I shouldn't be wasting time I could be living by worrying about death. We should remind ourselves and trust that God is always with us. Remember that no matter what happens that God will walk through it with us.

Psalm 56:4 "In God I will praise his words, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me."

This is a big one. We have the choice to decide who we are going to trust to keep us safe and secure. We shouldn't put our trust in things other than God. We should praise God and trust him to keep his word. Don't trust in ourselves or people in the world, trust in God. We can trust God to help us and we can trust him to keep his word.

See Matthew 24:35

Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears."
Seek out the Lord when you are afraid. Talk to the Lord when you are afraid and he will talk back to you through His Word. God will deliver us from every sinful fear, however great or small. Instead of turning to some other form of escape when we are afraid we should turn to God.
See Hebrews 4:12 and I Corinthians 10:13

1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that fearesth is not made perfect in love."

Overcome our fears with Love. One key to overcoming fear is to put on biblical love for God and for others. We show love to God by obeying his Word. When we think about ourselves our fear usually escalates. Remember when I mentioned above how we sometimes think that something horrible is going to happen. This can make us become completely panicked over absolutely nothing. Same thing with having an illness. We fear the unknown and the fact that it is unknown means we are worrying about absolutely nothing. What we are worried about may never happen. When we overcome the fear with Love it causes us to look for opportunities to give and often gets our mind off of the fears. See I Corinthians 13:6

Now of course we all have legitimate concerns about our health and even life in general. There are two ways to respond to such legitimate concerns. One is to focus on the present day and what God considers our responsibility regarding the concern. The other is to focus on the future, jump to a rash conclusion, usually the worse possible conclusion and then panic. God can't give us grace to respond biblically to a focus of the future that isn't real. See Matthew 6:34 and Philippians 4:8. We should focus on today and what our responsibilities are for today. Regarding our concerns about our health, we know we must take our medications, perhaps go to the doctor, care for our health needs and pray for God's guidance. We can add our name to prayer chains. God will give us grace to focus on today and what we must do today. My favorite scripture to help me with this issue is Philippians 4:6-9

We should put out un-biblical thoughts and put on biblical thoughts. The biblical thoughts will overcome fear. If we think that something is frightening and it is a true fear we just have to commit ourselves to do the right thing. Our responsibility is to do what is right and God will at that time give us grace and wisdom to respond. If something comes up and we don't know how to respond there is nothing wrong with telling them we need to think and get back with them later. Then seek God's word. When we are afraid of something remember your favorite scripture and recite it to yourself in your mind or even aloud to overcome the fear. Be careful not to respond to something in an unbiblical way. Fear will cause us to do that if we allow it.

Don't be anxious or fearful. Pray a biblical prayer of supplication with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6). Pray right away, don't wait because the fear will grow if you don't act immediately. When you are having fearful thoughts be sure that they are biblical. Philippians 4:8 is a good guide to check. If you persist in this you will experience the "peace of God which passeth all understanding" (Philippians 4:7) and the "God of peace shall be with you" (Philippians 4:9).

- Posted by Sherry Lucas using BlogPress for iPad.